Frustration

One of the greatest challenges I find in the work I do is the struggle between artistic expression and technical perfection. I love getting wrapped up in the details of how things work and why, so I find that I almost always become preoccupied by making sure things are done correctly. In and of itself, doing things correctly is a good thing. My problem is that I become so focused on making sure things are done the right way that I neglect the overall result. That is, perfection of process is more important than quality of product.

What this means for me is I need to work out a balance between perfecting my technical skills and making something that is artistically appealing. Interestingly to me, I find that this need for balance is something I've been fighting with for a very long time and didn't really know it. When I was studying music, I was so focused on playing the right notes, the right techniques, that I lost the musicality. In my traditional art, I've been more concerned with using the media correctly, shading properly, making nice lines, than in creating images that convey something. In my CG work, I'm so cautious to make sure all the numbers line up nicely, the curves smooth out, and everything is clean instead of stepping back and seeing if what I'm doing is communicating well.

Technical perfection is a mental habit that is deeply embedded in my mind. It has helped me in many areas, and drives me to try to achieve, but I'm trying to take a step back from that. I'm trying to convince myself to accept technical imperfection for now so that I can develop my artistic and aesthetic skills. I want to be more than the technical guy whose art is hopelessly rigid, and I want to go beyond the art guy who doesn't understand the hows and whys of the tools he uses. It's a tough goal, maybe unrealistic, but I'mma try.